niedziela, 15 czerwca 2014



KUZU

Japanese monthly haiku journal published my piece in April 2014 





キス送る氷の溶けし岸辺より
kisu okuru koori no tokeshi kishibe yori
(Japanese translation Ms Seki Mokka)


he sends kisses
on the other side of the river
melting ice

il m'envoie des baisers
sur l'autre côté de la rivière
la fonte des glaces

śle pocałunki
na tamtym brzegu rzeki
topnieją lody

csókot küld
a folyó másik oldalán
olvadó jég


8 komentarzy:

  1. I wonder if "to" might work better than "on" in the english version. Very nice, in any case.

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  2. Hi Bill,
    in fact I was considering "to" and "from" in this haiku.
    I think "on" is an all-purpose word, especially if we imagine a cut marker after 1L.
    Thank you for your appreciation :)
    Iris

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  3. __Nice work, Iris! I've read this as: >on< the other side of the river, the ice melts.
    __Too, perhaps, it is a 'she' .>at< the river's opposite edge, and that personal >ice< that had formed between them... has begun to thaw?
    _m

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    1. Hi Magyar
      you are absolutely right :)
      Thank you for your comment.
      Iris

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  4. Odpowiedzi
    1. Thank you for your sweet comment, Stops ;)

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