KUZU
Japanese monthly haiku
journal published my piece in April 2014
キス送る氷の溶けし岸辺より
kisu okuru koori no tokeshi kishibe yori
(Japanese translation Ms Seki Mokka)
he sends
kisses
on the other
side of the river
melting ice
il
m'envoie des baisers
sur l'autre côté de la rivière
la
fonte des glaces
śle pocałunki
na tamtym brzegu rzeki
topnieją lody
csókot küld
a folyó másik oldalán
olvadó jég
I wonder if "to" might work better than "on" in the english version. Very nice, in any case.
OdpowiedzUsuńHi Bill,
OdpowiedzUsuńin fact I was considering "to" and "from" in this haiku.
I think "on" is an all-purpose word, especially if we imagine a cut marker after 1L.
Thank you for your appreciation :)
Iris
__Nice work, Iris! I've read this as: >on< the other side of the river, the ice melts.
OdpowiedzUsuń__Too, perhaps, it is a 'she' .>at< the river's opposite edge, and that personal >ice< that had formed between them... has begun to thaw?
_m
Hi Magyar
Usuńyou are absolutely right :)
Thank you for your comment.
Iris
Bardzo ładne
OdpowiedzUsuńGratulacje :)
dziękuję bardzo, Eddie :)
UsuńI do like this ice ... cream!
OdpowiedzUsuńThank you for your sweet comment, Stops ;)
Usuń